[faithful_lt]

The events of the day have hit him -- hit all of them -- with the force of a hammer. Ellen Tigh's return from the dead had been shock enough; the confirmation that the damage to Galactica is too extensive to repair had been worse. Far, far worse.

Hoshi hasn't the first clue how to begin dealing with it, much less how to break the news to Felix. For the first time, he considers breaking the now-regularly-established habit he's formed of going from Galactica to Milliways an hour into the half-shift down that's all he claims to need any more, spending the night there, and slipping back into his rack before shift's end.

But they're all living on borrowed time now, and not much of it at that. He can't just disappear, not when--

-- he cuts that thought off right where it is before it can go any further, and heads for Milliways as usual.




Still, just being there doesn't mean he has any frakking idea of what to do, much less what to say. Felix asks him what's wrong, of course; Hoshi evades answering, pleading exhaustion. From the looks that he keeps getting, he imagines he must look pretty bad, but thankfully Felix doesn't press, or at least not much. He does try to draw Hoshi out in conversation, but it doesn't go well. Hoshi can't keep his mind on what they're talking about, and ends up calling it a night early.



Unfortunately for him, sleep might bring rest, but it also brings dreams.






He walks Galactica's strangely empty corridors, watching in horror as cracks spread along the walls beside him. He walks faster, then faster, as the cracks continue to grow, moving more quickly than he can keep up with, until he's somehow no longer walking but running, running as fast as he can --


-- and then with the strange suddenness of dreams, he's no longer on Galactica, but instead back on Raptor 718, staring in horror at Ellen Tigh, who's sitting in the jump seat and looking right back at him.

Between them on the floor is Felix's fallen body, marked with the bullet wounds of his execution.

Comments

[mr_gaeta]

Gaeta isn't having the easiest night's sleep, either. He never does, but this night is particularly bad for some reason, as if feeding off the tension of Louis' own dreams.

It's not the Raptor this time, but New Caprica: the ground is so thick with bodies that his feet never touch the dirt. There's no smell, but nests of flies drone so loudly that he can't hear his own voice. When his right foot inadvertently snaps a corpse's finger bones like twigs, Gaeta jerks backward and awake, gasping.

Still lost in the dream, he forgets he's missing a leg until he almost falls out of bed in his scramble to get away.

Gogo's there within seconds, plocking quietly as he hustles across the bedspread. Gaeta pulls the dodo close, like hugging a beloved comfort object, and buries his face against him as he tries to regain his equilibrium.

Several minutes pass before he realizes that the harsh rasps for air aren't all his own doing.

[faithful_lt]

There's not enough air in the Raptor; not enough to keep anyone alive, not for long. He can feel it in every labored breath he takes.

Ellen Tigh doesn't seem to notice or care, though. She slides from her seat and stands in her improbable heels, brushing bloody dust from her dress.

"You never could have saved him, you know. All of this has happened before and will again. Why bother? Cut your losses."

"No! No, no - godsdamn it --"

The Eight sits up and looks at him with hard eyes in what he always tries to tell himself is Athena's face.

"She's right. Cut your losses; I did. It's the only way."

"NO!"

He backs up a step and into the Raptor's hull. Cracks spread from the point of impact, and air begins to hiss out even faster.






"... no," Hoshi chokes out, between gasps. His body's as tight as spring steel, and cold sweat's sprung out on his forehead. "No, please--"

[mr_gaeta]

Gaeta lifts his head. Gogo shifts, turning more attention to Louis as his feathers ruffle. He knows those distress noises; he just wasn't expecting Friend of Nestmate to start making them, too.

One hand still on Gogo's back, Gaeta reaches out, slowly, to settle his other hand on Louis' shoulder. "Louis?" he whispers. "Sweetheart?"

[faithful_lt]

From behind him, over the sound of leaking air, Gaius Baltar says, "Don't worry, Lieutenant, we'll protect you."

Hoshi spins around to see Baltar brandishing a rifle, with his followers behind him. The Raptor is gone; when he whirls back again, Felix's body and the others are gone as well, and the empty corridors of Galactica stretch in front of him once more.

As he begins to run again, Baltar calls after him, "Try not to feel bad, Lieutenant Hoshi; you just never understood, not the way I did."






He doesn't react to Felix's touch, nor does he seem to hear the whisper.

Instead, the low groan Hoshi lets out sounds like the dry, heaving sob of a dying man.

[mr_gaeta]

"Louis."

The residual adrenaline, starting to ebb with Gogo's help, comes crashing back. Both hands go to Louis' shoulder this time as he shakes him; Gogo, picking up on Gaeta's worry, butts his head against Louis' leg.

"Louis, wake up -- "

[faithful_lt]

"NO!"


He sits straight up, jerking forward and out of the clutches of nightmare in the same motion. Hoshi's breath rasps in and out of his lungs as though he's just run a race.

(In a way he has, come to that.)

One hand splays flat on the bed, supporting himself; the other goes to his shoulder and clutches Felix's hand, as if trying to convince himself the other man's real.

[mr_gaeta]

"Louis, hey, hey -- "

He reacts automatically, without thinking: scooting across the last bit of space between them, Gaeta leans in to wrap his arm around Louis.

"Hey." Softer. "It's okay. I've got you."

[faithful_lt]

His response is immediate and just as unplanned. Hoshi turns immediately into Felix's arm and buries his face in Felix's shoulder as he puts both his own arms around him, holding tight.

[mr_gaeta]

Louis' tank is completely soaked in sweat, Gaeta realizes as he returns the embrace in earnest. Gods. This was a worse one than he thought.

"I've got you," he whispers again. "You're all right. It was just a dream; you're in my room at Milliways."

[faithful_lt]

"... oh, gods."

Choked and harsh with shock.

"Gods. Did I wake you?"

[mr_gaeta]

"No." He cradles the back of Louis' head, smoothing his damp hair. "I was already up."

Gaeta wouldn't have minded waking up for this, anyway.

[faithful_lt]

"Oh."

He breathes and breathes again, trying to force his rasping gasps to slow.

"Sorry, anyway."

[mr_gaeta]

"No need to be."

Gogo, who's been shifting from foot to foot in anxious little hops, waddles closer to give Louis' shoulder another gentle headbutt.

[faithful_lt]

"Hey, bird."

He frees one hand and ruffles Gogo's feathers.

"It's okay," Hoshi murmurs.

The reassurance isn't meant only for the dodo.

"It's okay."

[mr_gaeta]

Gogo voices a few more concerned plocks, but subsides once Louis starts petting him. He wedges himself a little closer to try and get in the crook of Louis' elbow.

A tiny smile quirks Gaeta's lips at the sight, but fades soon after. Soft, to Louis: "You want me to get you anything?"

(For now, he's not going to elaborate on what that anything might be. In Gaeta's case, it's usually a bottle of ambrosia, and that sure as frak won't go over well.)

[faithful_lt]

"No, that's okay. Think I might go splash water on my face, though," he adds, after a second.

[mr_gaeta]

"Okay."

He hesitates -- partly from uncertainty, partly from not wanting to let go -- before kissing Louis on the forehead and pulling away.

[faithful_lt]

He rolls to the side and to his feet, gives Felix a distracted, reassuring smile, and heads for the small bathroom.





Once the door's half-shut, enough to shield him, he turns on the water and grips both sides of the sink, head down and breathing fast.

"Pull yourself together, godsdammit. Pull yourself together now."

[mr_gaeta]

The water turns on; Felix sags, dragging a hand over his hair as he squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn't open them until Gogo worms underneath one arm, determined to get as close to him as possible.

"Good bird," he breathes, and leans against him.



Maybe he could make it to the fridge and back before Louis returns. Probably not.

[faithful_lt]

Maybe not ... but then again, maybe so, given how long it seems to be taking Hoshi.


The sound of running water continues, with the occasional splash.

[mr_gaeta]

By the time another minute passes, Gaeta's turned toward the half-open bathroom door, frowning.

It was a bad dream. Of course it's going to take him time to recover; Gaeta himself knows that well. But a deeper worry won't stop gnawing at him, fixated on the way Louis clung to him after he woke up.

Giving Gogo one last pat, he scoots toward the edge of the bed to retrieve his crutches.

[faithful_lt]

He has to go back out there. He has to face Felix, has to convince him everything's okay, somehow.

Somehow.

But gods, gods, how can he, without lying?



He won't do that.

He won't.

[mr_gaeta]

"Louis?"

Even something as easy as knocking on a door becomes an ordeal when you're using crutches; Gaeta has to settle for shifting his weight, gently tapping one crutch against the doorframe. Tap, tap.

[faithful_lt]

"I'm okay," he answers, and shuts off the faucet. Hoshi takes a second to stare at himself in the mirror, followed by a deep breath, and opens the door.

[mr_gaeta]

Gaeta's studying his face with evident worry the instant it comes into view.

Soft: "You sure?"

It sounds more like you don't have to lie to me.